{"id":36604,"title":"Which Wild Swimmer Are You?","description":"So you're a Wild Swimmer. Have you ever thought of what kind of swimmer you are?","content":"

We\u2019ve been all of these. Often more than one in a single day.<\/p>

1. Nuub<\/h2>

New to wild swimming but no stranger to shopping, the nuub has invested in on-trend high-tech gear and is now 90% neoprene.<\/p>

With enough equipment to have made Scott of the Antarctic blush from heatstroke, they will gingerly approach freezing cold water of 22 degrees celcius in late August.<\/p>

Worth remembering, though, that an otter\u2019s skin never gets wet because of its fur, so there is no shame in wearing a wetsuit. And that also gives us an excuse to post a picture of an otter.<\/p>

The evolution of a nuub is remarkable for its speed. In only a few months they will have expelled their rubber exoskeleton and be swimming in winter in postage stamp trunks, well on their way to becoming a skinfluencer<\/em>.<\/p>

Here\u2019s that otter:<\/p>

\"Editable2. Skinfluencer<\/h2>

If you played football in a park as a child you might have removed your top so you were playing on the \u2018skins\u2019 team. But people who swim in skins aren\u2019t listening for their mum to yell \u201cDINNER TIME\u201d, they are grown adults who shun the wetsuit in favour of a swimming costume.<\/p>

And a skinfluencer is someone who really likes to evangelise about it. They will tell you how much easier it is not to have to dry out loads of gear after a swim, whilst hoping you don\u2019t notice that their teeth are chattering and they\u2019re frozen stiff like Han Solo in that scene from Empire Strikes Back.<\/p>

All they wear is the smallest clothing possible that modesty and local law enforcement officers will allow.<\/p>

Occassionally, though, some like to wear an air of superiority and if you make the mistake of asking a simple question like \u201cwhich wetsuit should I buy?\u201d on a swimming forum, they will helpfully reply \u201cno idea - I don\u2019t wear one.\u201d<\/p>

\"aexzom7jpkmfobevdpymyjhcn0snut3chk0zswhgsddacxxx.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"3. Tri-Guy<\/h2>

It\u2019s 10am on Sunday morning. The local branch of the Bluetits are into their swimble when a dark muscular object flies through them at the only speed it knows. Fast.<\/p>

They are in training for an Uber-Triathlon later in the year in the South of France and have no time for your chit-chat.<\/p>

A triathlon is a race invented by a sadist to punish open water swimmers by making them jump on a bike afterwards, then go for a run, then endure two hours of k-pop to placate bored children on the drive home.<\/p>

If found on dry land, do not offer cake. The Tri-Guy has a strict diet and will only accept one of those little sacks of viscous fluid called something like ELECTROLYTE-REPLACEMENT HYPER ENDURANCE SPORTS ENERGY BODYFUEL NUTRITION MEGA GEL.<\/p>

\"goax04ft64rjredyfvmujivktka6lzuioxckvb7kcifhpuc8.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"4. Bliss Packham<\/h2>

Someone who swims wild in order to be closer to nature\u2019s blissful glory. Routinely stopping to marvel at a hunting Cormorant or commune with a Water Vole, if you swim with a Bliss Packham it will take half an hour to cover 50 yards.<\/p>

Balancing their natural serenity with anger at THE STATE OF THINGS, they have signed 358 petitions against sewage-dumping and are the sworn enemy of water company shareholders.<\/p>

Most likely to say \u201cactually, that\u2019s an invasive non-native species\u201d<\/p>

Least likely to say \u201cthey should just chlorinate the lake\u201d<\/p>

\"9wnxgmxvy0mkbwqs3t7muvwpiuexfewdvwunnsvuvqs1xtuu.jpeg.jpg?w=1140&h=auto\"5. Sharey Berry<\/h2>

In reference to the former Queen of Bake Off, a Sharey Berry exists to feed other swimmers in their tribe (and anyone innocently walking past with a dog) with an array of homemade delicacies, but predominantly cake and sausage rolls.<\/p>

If you don\u2019t have such a person in your tribe you should actively try to recruit one. They are a Godsend. Although if they\u2019ve been experimenting with obscure meats perhaps give those dubious treats a swerve if you have an important race coming up.<\/p>

\"1l4kszci27agioitjjo55qxel4t7iaorus9wltzcolz0pz5d.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&z=1.5000000000000004&fx=0.42267572710466766&fy=0.509465481053964&v=2\"6. Swimstagrammer<\/h2>

In olden times (and sometimes even today) people would head to open water to hunt for food. Nowadays the hunt is for CONTENT.<\/p>

Feeding off likes and shares with the appetite of a basking shark hoovering up plankton, a swimstagrammer communicates through Mark Zuckerberg\u2019s second favourite social media platform.<\/p>

They are excellent at inspiring people, and particularly good at inspiring jealousy over the incredible locations they are in whilst you swim in sewage and get changed next to a bin.<\/p>

\"ssw6setxllk1tgvuw5y9xq87vpfr9fdxldwgbdr498ku8olb.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"7. Swim Hof<\/h2>

First featured in our Quint- Essential Wild Swimming Terms - blog<\/u><\/a><\/p>

Someone who\u2019s read a book by a renowned ice-loving Dutchman and they\u2019re really in to it. At the lake, they display their mastery of cold water by gliding in with zen-like ease. A feat not seen since ancient Nordic times. And also 5 minutes ago when 68 year-old Sandra did the same thing in a flourescent bobble hat.<\/p>

They achieve a meditative state through something called breathwork<\/em>.<\/p>

Breathwork is an advanced form of breathing that involves turning a natural process into work. The work is mostly counting and pausing. Not exactly chiselling coal out of a mine, but important work nonetheless.<\/p>

\"ewgrgivcmmc3hbdm0v1dceatifdnj6iwuk0krvcy5nohghpn.jpeg.jpg?w=1140&z=1.7000000000000006&fx=0.5087987127676016&fy=0.4459978267909954&v=2\"We hope you have resonated with at least one if not all of these swimmer types and in no time at all you will be dropping such terms into your everyday waterside chat with a cuppa and cake from the resident Sharey Berry.<\/p>

Any additions welcome on INSTAGRAM<\/u><\/strong><\/a> <\/strong>FACEBOOK<\/u><\/strong><\/a><\/p>","urlTitle":"which-wild-swimmer-are-you","url":"\/blog\/which-wild-swimmer-are-you\/","editListUrl":"\/my-blogs","editUrl":"\/my-blogs\/edit\/which-wild-swimmer-are-you\/","fullUrl":"https:\/\/diptribe.com\/blog\/which-wild-swimmer-are-you\/","featured":false,"published":true,"showOnSitemap":true,"hidden":false,"visibility":null,"createdAt":1708017361,"updatedAt":1711884245,"publishedAt":1711884244,"lastReadAt":null,"division":{"id":289282,"name":"Open"},"tags":[],"metaImage":{"original":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/itcozss4t6llbv5auzwggiwnly6bfdjutzxtcyunt83tvgdj.jpeg","thumbnail":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/itcozss4t6llbv5auzwggiwnly6bfdjutzxtcyunt83tvgdj.jpeg.jpg?w=1140&h=855","banner":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/itcozss4t6llbv5auzwggiwnly6bfdjutzxtcyunt83tvgdj.jpeg.jpg?w=1920&h=1440"},"metaTitle":"Which Wild Swimmer Are You?","metaDescription":"Find your wild swimming type with this handy list. Funny blog for open water swimmers.","keyPhraseCampaignId":null,"series":[],"similarReads":[{"id":39792,"title":"Music Festivals for Wild Swimmers","url":"\/blog\/music-festivals-for-wild-swimmers\/","urlTitle":"music-festivals-for-wild-swimmers","division":289282,"description":"Some great UK music festivals where you can still get your wild swimming fix.","published":true,"metaImage":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/fpt6g9vzll6fmcxfc1jv8kbh23xwrywlcxebff9g0uccsopq.png.jpg?w=1140&h=855","banner":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/fpt6g9vzll6fmcxfc1jv8kbh23xwrywlcxebff9g0uccsopq.png.jpg?w=1920&h=1440"},"hidden":0},{"id":36710,"title":"Essential Wild Swimming Terms","url":"\/blog\/essential-wild-swimming-terms\/","urlTitle":"essential-wild-swimming-terms","division":289282,"description":"The wild swimming terminology you never knew you needed.","published":true,"metaImage":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/sim3awqlgwwj9id8emc1byunacwy6d0tzyy1dwannivvg8uz.png.jpg?w=1140&h=855","banner":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/sim3awqlgwwj9id8emc1byunacwy6d0tzyy1dwannivvg8uz.png.jpg?w=1920&h=1440"},"hidden":0}],"labels":[]}